How To Handle Rejections

How To Handle Rejections

Whether you like it or not, rejection is quite normal and a natural part of our lives that we must cope with. At some point in your professional and personal life, you will experience rejection that will prevent you from submitting more business proposals, dating another person, going for job interviews, making more job searches or applying to colleges among many others.

Take for instance; you have spent an ample time to prepare an amazing, well-detailed college application, only to receive an email stating that your application has not been accepted. Your mind has already been committed to this school that does not want you. Consequently, you feel dejected and broken. Or you see someone that you like, asked the person out but rather than been accepted, you were rejected. Of course, this can seem like a big a failure. Likewise, being rejected despite having an excellent resume can make one think everything is over or something is wrong.

Most times, we respond to all these rejections in a negative emotional way that can leave you in a state of paralyzing fear and dejection. And if not properly handled, the desire for suicide can seem comforting. If you aim to create success for yourself in any areas of life and rejection is a hurdle for you at the moment, it is such a wonderful relief learning how to deal with it.

In this post, I’m going to talk about how you can generally handle rejections in any form it takes.

1. Do not take it personal

It’s often difficult not to take things personally. But the next time you come across rejection at a business meeting, try as much as possible to not take it personal and let a simple “no” ruin your day. It is also not the time to continue to restate your business proposals or want to impress them again. When you hear “NO”, think of it as you are a step close to having a “YES”. You might think that your college admissions decisions are a direct indicator of your worth as a person or as a student. It’s important to remember that this is definitely not the case. College admissions decisions are based on so many factors that you can’t control. If you did your best to control the ones you could, then you need to know that there were other factors at play. You never know what other factors are at play in college admissions, so taking a rejection personally is never a good idea.

2. Keep Positive

It’s easy to feel something slipping away and have your attitude slide downhill.  Keep it in check.  Keep upbeat during your meeting and your enthusiasm may become catchy.  Handling things in a professional and positive manner can keep you on the forefront of your prospects mind if their situation changes.  It’s not uncommon for investors to get 30-40% of their deals from follow up.  Leaving things on a positive note can help those numbers to increase. The best way to deal with rejections is to keep a smile on your face. Turn each rejection into a learning opportunity and stay focused on your ultimate goal. The day will come that you and great job are finally matched.

3. Avoid blame game.

The rejection may have been out of your hands but that doesn’t mean that the fault lies on somebody else’s shoulders. Accept responsibility for the things you could have done differently without putting too much pressure on yourself and recognize that sometimes these things just happen.

4. Your Top Choice May Not Be The Best For You.

While it might seem like the most perfect college you could imagine, no college that doesn’t recognize what an amazing candidate you are is going to be the best fit for you. There are hundreds of amazing colleges out there, and odds are high that you will be able to succeed elsewhere if you set yourself to attending one that’s the best fit for you personally. Start by identifying what it was about your dream school that made it so alluring. If you can pinpoint a few of the most desirable qualities, you can bet you’ll be able to find those same qualities at other schools that would be happy to have you as a student.

5. Don’t Be too Hard on Yourself.

A job rejection isn’t a failure. It’s simply you not being the missing piece that fits that employer’s puzzle at this point in time. Once you reach out and maintain those bridges, it’s time for some self care. It’s easy to get down on yourself when you’re rejected for a job, but it’s important to keep a positive outlook. The more you let a rejection get you down, the more it will hurt your confidence the next time you go in for a job interview. There’s a good chance their choice had nothing to do with you and everything to do with some details you had zero control over. First of all you need to remember that the majority of the time these decisions are not personal. Typically there is simply another candidate who is either more qualified or willing to take lesser pay. If you feel like you had a great interview and a great connection you probably did. Just because you didn’t get the job doesn’t mean you don’t have a great personality and a lot of wonderful professional experience.

6. Rejection is not feedback.

Don’t just assume that everything you’re doing is wrong because you didn’t get the job. It is perfectly acceptable to politely ask the recruiter or employer for more detailed feedback about your interview in order to help you improve. Remember though, interview feedback can sometimes be bland and unhelpful, so do seek out other genuinely useful feedback where possible. You could seek the advice of an HR professional and try out a mock interview in order to practice and get some constructive criticism

7. Reflect and Improve

Everyone can improve their presentation skills.  When you leave a meeting, take your time to think through what you could have done differently.  Did you establish rapport?  What key “needs” did the prospect have and did you answer how you could meet those?  Learn from each deal and make mental notes for next time.

8. Ask questions.

Is there something wrong with the proposal that warrant such a decision? You need to find out. If you’re going to actually get your business proposals in front of people, it is important you learn from things that work and those things that do not. It may seem like a waste of time, but can be precious to you. It shows you to be a person that really cares about your work rather than being after the money alone. It also helps you understand your sales pitch.

9. Use subliminal messages.

You can use subliminal messages while you are visualizing. The subliminal messages can be the following:

  1. I let go of the missed opportunity.
  2. I am looking forward to more doors opening for me.
  3. I can definitely succeed very soon.
  4. This rejection does not change the way I look at myself.

These subliminal messages not only make the visualization exercise more effective, but they can also change the way your mind thinks. You will become more open to new possibilities and embrace the temporary setbacks.

10. Never Bring Up the Past

Once rejected, we tend to relive the situation and discuss it with others when we shouldn’t. Instead of focusing on rejections, try to focus on instances when you’ve succeeded and when your expectations were met. Remembering those positive outcomes will help you boost your morale and provide the feeling that you’re meant for something bigger and better. If you lump this rejection in with past rejections you’ll feel overwhelmed and the magnitude of this rejection will be unnecessarily multiplied. Treat each experience individually and learn to lay the past to rest.

11. Focus on Your Strengths

Once rejected, it’s very easy to blame yourself and find faults with your resume or even your personality. Don’t beat yourself up just because you’ve been rejected for multiple jobs. Try and focus on your strengths and identify opportunities that you are passionate about, and that passion will show through in interviews. Remind yourself that you have a lot of marketable qualities. There is always going to be an infinitely long list of things that you cannot do, focusing on those things will only bring you down. If you focus on what you can do and what it is you can improve on, then you are more likely to make progress in your career.

12. Allow yourself a limited amount of time to grieve.

Give the rejection a good cry or a moment of self-pity, if this is your way of releasing your negative emotions. After that, stand up, dust yourself off, and move on. There is no reason for you to look back. It is necessary to get all the fear, hurt, anger and bitterness right out of your system or else these feelings could turn into hatred and resentment. It won’t be easy but the faster you get rid of those negative feelings the better for you.

13. Analyze why the rejection occurred.

Then look for ways to either change the thing that was rejected or find new places where acceptance is more likely. Most things in life are a numbers game, in that we have to make X amount of tries before we get acceptance. Figure out what the number of trys is required before you get a win. Look at the rejection as bringing you one step closer to hitting that magic number of rejections that will bring you acceptance. Not all rejections have sense, so you don’t have to fuss about all of them. Just think if the cause of the rejection is something you can fix. For example, if you were not accepted because of lack of experience, you may want to look for volunteer organizations in line with your desired position. You can improve your set of skills or pick better references.

14. Accept the reality

Learn to accept the truth that rejections can happen. You are not the only one, and most definitely there are others who have been rejected numerous times in their life. Accept the reality of the fact that rejections are a natural part of life. This is not the first or last time you will be rejected. Everybody is rejected from time to time. The more you come to terms with this fact the better suited you’ll be going into future job searches.

15. Take your mind off it

If you feel that the rejections are occupying your mind more often, it’s time to bring yourself out more. You can go out with friends, take a new hobby, or even write your thoughts on a journal. Do anything that will help you release and forget about them.

16.Ask yourself a few questions

What have you learned from this experience? Is there anything you would have done differently? Based on what you learned from this experience, how will you handle yourself differently the next time you go through the process of interviewing for a job? By asking yourself these questions you are allowing yourself to grow and improve. That is why even a failed job interview is a good experience to have under your belt. The more you interview the better you are going to get at it.

17. Confront your fears

What is so frightening about rejection is usually the humiliation and the feeling that you have been “made a fool of” that accompanies it. Remember that all physical and emotional hurt is just a part of loving and living.

18. Look at the positive side

Maybe the guy who rejected you was not the best type of partner for you. You could have been saved from a lot of trouble and further heartbreak. Besides, a rejection in the beginning is better than the bitterness of a break-up later on in a relationship. You still have plenty of chances of finding the right guy.

19. Rejection is no big deal

She tells you she isn’t your type, so what? Never feign your disappointment or beg for her, which is the highest act of desperation. Mope around a little and then move on with life.

20. She’s not the only girl out there.

This is serious case of sour-graping but hey, it helps. Tell yourself that there are plenty of fish in the ocean and about a million other available girls who would gladly say yes to your offer. No need to feel totally bad about it. You tried, and that’s cool.

21. Be cool.

Stay calm and collected. Shrug it off and maybe tell her that everything’s fine and you hope to catch her later. By appearing composed in a time of rejection makes you even more attractive. The dating game is not stressful. You’re supposed to be having fun!

22. Respect her opinion

Sometimes, we do have a feeling that when a girl says no, she actually means yes. That’s okay. Try again. But when she firmly retaliates that she doesn’t want to go out with you and says it in a straight face, time to retreat. For now, she surely means it.

23. Look forward to success

Think of happy thoughts, be sure of yourself and don’t give yourself time to sulk and brood. A woman who abandons hope has no chance of achieving her goals.

24. Keep learning and developing.

Your confidence can take a hit when you get a rejection, so it’s important to work hard at keeping your morale and motivation levels buoyant. Especially if you’re not in current employment, it’s a good idea to keep your skills sharpened and your experience up-to-date. This may take the form of a part-time training course (if relevant), a charity project, mentorship or a voluntary position in a company of interest. By keeping professionally active in this way, you can aid ongoing development, boost confidence, give yourself a focus outside your job hunt and provide a discussion point in your next interview.

Final thought Rejections should not be the ultimate cause for you to feel so bad about yourself. They don’t define you at all, and you should not. Remember, success is generally located just beyond the spot you fell. First, find a way to avoid taking the rejection personally, so you can deal with the rejection objectively. While rejections most always seem personal, they rarely are. Please Share & Refer A Friend* Thanks For Enjoying!!!!

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