Have you ever come across a fantastic idea that you are passionate about? But immediately your inner critic took over, you came up with one thousand and one reasons why it won’t work? Do you feel that the good life is just not for you, but for others? Do you desire more in life? If all these describe you, my next question is why are you sabotaging yourself?
Sabotaging is a deliberate action that can happen in any part of our lives, and generally comes from a feeling of fear, discouragement, dissatisfaction and low self-esteem. We hear it on a daily basis in our workplaces, neighborhoods, and social environment about individuals who are making so many depressing choices, from addictions to suicides, dishonesty to murders etc. Many of us have been so beaten down by life that we already give up on our dreams, passions and desires. Since we do not have power over all the external events that happen, you need to start with an aspect that you can do something about – YOURSELF!
No matter what happens to you, you can ultimately decide on how you process it and how you choose to move forward. In this article, I am going to focus on five important ways to stop sabotaging and get the best out of life.
- Be conscious of what you tell yourself
Your internal dialogues are fundamental to your ability to live a more productive life. Whether it occurs to you or not, we all have the tendency to chatter to ourselves at all times. But unfortunately, many people are not conscious of the quality of their inner chattering, which has resulted in a state of sabotage. One of the ways to stop sabotaging is to pay closer attention to your internal dialogue. Check if it is nurturing or critical, and ensure you correct your dialogue. The more encouraging, kind and patient you can be with yourself, the better you will feel and act. You too can live a passionate life. To achieve that, you first need to work on your thinking.
- Stop judging yourself against others
Have you ever compared yourself to someone in one way or the other? If your answer is as good as my guess, then I imagine this is a global issue. This tendency to compare oneself with others is a consequence of the society, families, culture, work and more. It may shock you to know that you may be doing the comparison without even realizing that you are doing so. One major solution here is awareness and to pay attention. Once you notice you are engaging in the act, ensure you call yourself to order and make the necessary corrections. For instance, you can remind yourself that your name is Nathan, not Alfred and that you are gifted differently. Focus your attention on whom you are and your strengths.
- Identify your values and goals
There is no way to achieve the life you want if you fail to have a clear understanding of what is important to you. Following the waves of each day as it comes is just living passively. Therefore, spending much time to gain clarity about what is important to you is essential. The more conscious you are of what you value, the better you can create goals that will adhere to and strengthen those values.
- Pay attention to your behaviors
Actions they say speak louder than words. What are your behaviors saying about you? Are your actions complementing your values? Do you like what your actions are saying? You cannot change your present life with the same behavior that got you into your present sabotaging situation. A key factor to stopping self-sabotaging is to behave in ways that reveal your values. If you fail to accept responsibility for how you live your life, you will find it harder to feel satisfied. Of course, you may occasionally or by accident feel happy. Note that it usually does not last. To ensure you get the greatest satisfaction from life, you have to behave intentionally. Get your head out of the sand and live on purpose
- Be more selective in your relationships
Friendships are a true expression of whom you are. Do your friendships align with your values? What is their role towards your goal achievement? It is crucial you take responsibility in all your relationship choices. Your choice of friends should be people that will encourage you more – people that are living the kind of life you desire. They need not be rich or have plenty of money. Seek out people that are living an abundantly wealthy life and a peaceful life, and then soak up their energy. Don’t be afraid to ask them how they are able to maneuver life’s challenges. The same thing applies to your family members. You should learn to set boundaries and limits.
What is holding you back? The basis of how you can stop sabotaging yourself is within you. Stop reacting to life and start to pay attention, which is why you are the controller of your life. Choose to live each day knowing that your life is your responsibility and that you deserve to live to the fullest. Lastly, regardless of what happens, you always have a choice of how to respond.
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